I am a mum to three amazing children all below four years of age. My job involves a lot of travel that takes me away from them a lot of times. I have a confession to make…i love my career … and i do not feel guilty at all.
In writting this post, i am hoping one mum out there is helped to ditch the guilt and embrace their here and now.
1. Use of the right words.
I have often heard words such as “full time mom” being used. I have always wondered what that means. Honestly despite being a mum who goes to work, i am still also a full time mother to my children. The fact that sometimes i am away for eight hours does not make me a “part time” mum. And because i embrace my full time motherhood responsibilities and passion for my career, i do not feel guilty.
2. Do not judge yourself
When it comes to motherhood, the tendency is to judge ourselves based on what our children can or cannot do. One mother spoke of how their 10 months old baby is already potty trained. My twins are nearly twice that age and we are not there yet. For a moment i felt i was not doing something right…maybe if i spent more time with them….And then it occurred to me that i am not in competition with anyone and neither are my children. And so again i feel no guilt.
3.Block the naysayers
My first business trip was when my twins where four months old. My mother came and looked after them for the four nights i was away. Thank God for mothers. When i got back one “not so gentle collegue” asked what sort of mother i was to go away and leave such young kids… Honestly if its not to build me or encourage me i block my ears. Its a choice i made and i have no regrets and so the guilt adds no value…so its best to ditch it.
4. Do not be pressured by what others believe you should do
People and society in general will always have opinions of what you “should” do. You should do X by yourself, when it comes to your children you should do Y and not the nanny. To avoid overwhelming yourself and ending with the useless emotion g…..,because of the pressure, decide for yourself what you can and cannot do. And do not be pressurred.
5. I am no superwoman
I am grateful for our culture and the role of extended family where i can always call for support and help with my children when i need it. Elsewhere on my blog i always advise working mothers to ask for help. Its for our own good..
Enjoy your week ahead… with your baby(ies) and at work.