Today I would have…

In loving remembrance of Simon Rambayi Dongonda Simende

21 December 1937- 4 March 2021.

Four weeks ago today we laid my father to rest. The past weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions, sadness, pain, guilt, fear, gratitude, and so many others that I can’t articulate. Even writing about Baba in the past tense still seems unreal. How do I write in the past tense about someone who was in my life for forty years, eight months and two weeks? How do I write in the past tense about the man who taught me so much and loved me and my siblings so much?

I had already gotten my COVID-19 test done by 9:30am on that fateful Thursday morning so I could fly to Harare from Johannesburg not only to see my father who wasn’t well. The plan was to fly out Friday the 5th of March, spend the whole week at home, have a special birthday “something ” for Mhayi on Sunday the 14th and then return to Johannesburg on Monday the 15th of March.

So on my way from Fourway Life Hospital where I had gotten my COVID-19 test, i tried to call Chiedza my young sister. I wanted her to give me a list of things they needed me to bring with from Johannesburg. She was not picking the phone. My conclusion was she was busy at work. I sent her a message and still she didn’t respond. So in typical Tendai style, I just kept on calling. Could it be something to do with what Baba told me about not giving up and trying and trying again? Eventually Chiedza answered my call. It was very brief and all she said was she was just busy sorting something and she would call me back in a short while.

It took Chiedza another twenty minutes to call me back. Somehow I missed this call. I called her back as soon as I saw the missed call and the words from her mouth changed my life, our lives forever….. “aaaa Tendai, Humba vatungamira…” Humba is our totem and what Chiedza was telling me directly translated was “our beloved father has led the way…”

Indeed Baba led the way, not only on the 4th of March 2021 but throughout my life.

I saw him lead our family. I saw him lead in the church. I saw him lead in the community. I saw him being a father to non-biological children. I saw him giving counsel. I saw him give opportunities. I saw him pray. I saw him not give up and I saw him walk the talk. He led the way!

I remember calling my father once as I was driving from work one night. I apologised for not having called in days telling him by the time I got home and put the children to bed, it would be too late. He then told me it wasn’t safe to drive and talk on the phone. I told him I was using a hands free kit but he still went on to drop the call and asked me to call him either on Saturday or Sunday. So from that day, Saturday or Sunday became the day I called Baba.

So today is Sunday, I would have called you, about this time (12midday Central African Time) . Your typical answer to the call would be Humba! and I would have said Humba Makombe. Your first question would have been ” Matopedza Church yere? ( Have you already finished church?) I would answer in the affirmative, and sometimes you would ask for a summary of what the preacher had spoken about. Without fail you would have asked about your grandchildren. I would call each of them to speak to you as you wanted to hear their voices as well.

Today is Sunday, I would have called you to say Makorokoto ( Congratulations) because yesterday 27th March was Sekuru Bonnie ( your oldest son, my oldest brother’s birthday). We would have joked a bit here and you would probably have said something that would have made me laugh silly.

Today is Sunday, i would have called you and you would have asked Kuri sei kubasa? (How is work). You would typically have said Ita kuti pau pau. I am not sure this particular word actually exists in the Manyika dialect but it’s our family way of saying give me all the juicy details. And I would give you all the details.

Today is Sunday, I would have called you and we would have talked about whatever was trending politically at home ( Zimbabwe) and wherever else especially the country I was living in.

Today is Sunday, I would have called you and you would have asked about the COVID-19 situation in Johannesburg and Cape Town. You were rather specific on this because those two cities are where other family members are. This particular part of the conversation would end with you telling me to be careful and to check on Nyasha and Takunda (grandchildren in Cape Town)

Today is Sunday, I would have called and we would have talked about soccer. We would have talked about stadiums opening for the CAF matches. All your children still supports Caps United. It’s no surprise green is really my favourite colour and I really don’t like blue. πŸ˜‰ (wink wink…if you know you know). We would have briefly talked about the English Football League. This is one area we agreed to disagree. You loved Manchester United. I love Liverpool. We still worked like that.

Today is Sunday, I would have called and you would have given me an update of what is happening kumusha, (Village) what this year’s harvest looked like, what you had planted in the “German Garden”, who was doing what and and….

Today is Sunday, I would have called and our call would have ended with you reminding me to work hard, to not worry about anything because you were always praying for us and to not take too long before calling again. I am not going to be able to call your number and hear your voice again. That hasn’t sunk in yet. I am taking it one day at a time.

My father was diagnosed with stage 3 prostrate cancer early in the year. We sought him medical care and we prayed for healing. God in His sovereign power had other plans for him.

Other than on Sunday the 7th March 2021 when I said I my final goodbyes to my father, I had last seen him in person on 1 September 2019. Along with my mother and 7 of my siblings and their families, they drove my husband and 3 children to the airport for our second relocation. We were moving just next door to South Africa but these are always significant occasions in our family. The first time we relocated to Kenya, my father, mother and siblings were all at the airport. Thats just how things work in my family.

In December 2019 i debated going home for Christmas but my father said we needed to settle down first, after all we were much closer home than before and visits will be easier. From experience I also knew my father preferred for us to always go home with the children. I remember the first time we relocated to Kenya in July 2016, I got so homesick my husband and I flew home in September. In my father’s exact words, Mauya kuno masiya wapwere wega kuKenya diko yere? ( Did the two of you really leave the children by themselves in Kenya?) Of course the children weren’t by themselves but my father wasn’t too amused. My plan was therefore to go home with the children sometime in 2020, most probably for Easter because that was kinda our ritual. Without fail from the time we had children, Easter we drove home to Nyanga. But COVID-19 happened and we couldn’t travel as a family.

I miss Baba daily and I am still processing all the emotions that come with loss, one day at a time. Rest in peace Humba Makombe. Thank you for EVERYTHING!

Finding your rhythm as a working mom…because well, balance doesn’t exist.

Monday the 18th of January was my first day back at work for 2021 after a three weeks break from the office. With the COVID-19 situation, we had planned a staycation, just being at home, no zoom meetings and no deadlines to worry about. Unlike our other family holidays which are packed with activities, this one was laid back. I read novels,something I hadn’t done in years. I slept in a lot and binge watched a lot of shows on Netflix.

So I came across a series that I felt resonated so much with me. The series is called Chesapeake Shores. It is actually originally a Hallmark Channel series from 2016. There are four seasons so far. Don’t worry i am not going to spoil it for you.

The theme is family and love

So this series is based on the O’Brien family who come from a small town called Chesapeake Shores. Abby (played by Meghan Ory) is the oldest daughter. She is a high-flying career woman who has made it big in New York. She struggles to balance her career and being present in the lives of her two daughters. This is probably made worse because she is recently divorced from her husband an equally high flying Wall Street banker. Following a visit to her hometown of Chesapeake Shores, Abbey decides to settle there and be more present in the lives of her daughters.

Abbey and her sisters Jess and Bree

Most working mothers would relate to most of what Abbey goes through navigating motherhood and her career. When she was offered a promotion to Vice President it wasn’t an automatic yes as she had to consider how she would balance the increased demands on her time with being available for her daughters. Being in Chesapeake Shores makes this slightly easier as she has the rest of her family to help her with her daughters.

Lesson 1 – Find a support network to lean on.

When we were lived back home in Zimbabwe my sisters, mother, nieces and nephews knew to expect a call from me on any Saturday morning to watch my children just so I could catch up on some much needed sleep. It wasn’t easy. At some stage all three of our children were less than three years. I am definitely not complaining here. Infact I consider myself totally blessed. There are times when other family members who can help are actually not available or too far, as is our case now. It’s however important to find other families, mothers and friends who are going through a similar stage or have gone through the same stage and can offer help when needed. They can be mothers from your workplace, or they can be mothers at your children’s school or from church. There should be no shame in asking for help.

2. Get a good nanny and or maid

This isn’t really going to be easy. I went through six maids within a two year period. Decide what is a priority for you. Is it that the house is spotless clean or that the baby(ies) is well taken care of? If you find someone who can do both well, then keep her at all costs and pay her well. If you can afford to have someone to focus on the children and someone to do the house chores, that’s actually first prize. At some stage I had a live-in and another was coming once every week to clean the house thouroughly, doing the laundry and ironing. Once you have decided on what is important, find one that you are happy with and don’t be scared to get an inexperienced helper that you can train on your own.

When Abbey relocated back to Chesapeake Shores, she rekindled things with her high school sweetheart Trace ( played by Jesse Metcalfe). As Trace’s career as a country musician took off things got more complicated. Trace has to juggle between running his business, touring with his band and being there for Abbey and her girls. This is a common dilemma in many dual career households today. Most families are dual career families. We juggle families, careers and even side hustles and sometimes studying. Another truth is that most families need both parents incomes. So how do we mantain healthy family relationships, be available for our spouses, our children and still be the ambitious career women we want to be or build the successful businesses that we have always desired?

3. Delegate at work

Whether you are running your own business or are in the corporate world, delegating to capable others is something you will need to learn fast. I fully acknowledge that this is probably something that some will not be able to do as some do not have teams to delegate to or their businesses are not yet big enough to hire other people. If you have no one to delegate to, ensure you engage with with your line manager on delivery timelines that are more manageable without causing you burnout. If your business is still growing consider automating some tasks so that gain time.

4. You really don’t have to be online 24/7

One of the things I have learnt is that you teach people how to treat you. What you allow them to do they will keep doing and what you don’t they will not do. Before I changed employers, I had my work email on my mobile phone. This meant I was available whenever anyone looked for me and even responded to work emails on weekends and after work. I had taught my workmates how treat me. This meant even though I was with my family during weekends, I wasn’t fully present with them. When I changed employers two years ago, I took this as an opportunity to make some much needed changes. I don’t have my work email on my mobile phone anymore. I am therefore not tempted to check my email every now and again. It really also helps that my employer is committed to “employee wellness ” and has in place policies that allow me to be fully present with my family. Of course there are busy periods that will require more from me at work. In such times I do put on the extra time but I only do it when necessary.

5. Prioritize your selfcare

Selfcare will look different for each one of us. It’s about doing something for you, for your physical health, for your mental health and your overall wellbeing. Find out the things that help you switch off from your work and family demands. It could be exercising, reading a good book, having a massage, a walk in nature. Whatever it is you will feel rejuvenated afterwards. Don’t wait for the weekend to practice selfcare. Find a way to incorporate such activities into your daily routine.

I am looking forward to a good year ahead and wish the same for you.

Mum in Stilettos is a community for us mothers as we grow our families, grow our careers and grow our businesses.

Stay Safe – Muminstilettos

Seizing the moment…..did Zimbabwe’s big brand marketers miss an opportunity from the Advocate Mahere & Dr Gwaunza Date?

If you are a Zimbabwean on Twitter, you will know how on Friday 24th and Saturday 25th of April Advocate Mahere and Dr Gwaunza were trending. They literally set Twitter on fire for Zimbabweans. What started off as a guy shooting his shot, turned into a movement, a force for good and brought joy to us Zimbabweans during such trying times. By the way I have written about Shooting your shot, and you can read it here. So back to today’s story. The biggest lesson from all this for me was how brands, big or small can make use of moment marketing to drive reach and engagement. If you are not on Twitter, don’t worry I will bring you up to speed on what happened. I will share on brands that i think did well and those that i believe did extremely well.

The tweet that started it all!

So above is the tweet that started it all. In response, Fadzayi said she would go on a date with Lenon if he got 100 retweets. I am not sure how many followers Lenon had before he tweeted on Thursday the 23rd. When I checked on Friday the 24th around 11am, he had just over 1000 Twitter followers. At the time of writing this post ( Saturday 25th night), he is now close to 7000 followers on Twitter. Fadzayi has always been a “powerhouse” on Twitter and currently has close to 240 000 followers. I am sure there was significant follower growth for her too over the last two days.

Anyhow, it didn’t take a long time for Lenon to get the 100 retweets that Fadzayi had set as a condition for the date to happen. The goalposts were then shifted and Fadzayi said she would go for the date if the retweets got to 5000.

At that stage the responsive brands caught on to what was happening and immediately got into gear. Mambo’s Chicken was one of the first ones to respond with the tweet below.

From Fadzayi’s response, she had actually never tasted Mambo’s chicken. So not only did the brand get more exposure, they also have other potential customers. Other brands that responded at that stage were Cresta Hotels that promised to host the date post the lockdown. It wasn’t difficult for the Dr to get to the 5000 retweets that had been set. Who doesn’t like a good love story? Even some of Fadzayi’ s friends were on #teamLenon.

In my opinion gears shifted when Tawanda Nyambirai a well known Zimbabwean lawyer and businessman intervened to “save” Fadzayi from the date by offering a ventilator to a hospital in response to COVID-19. At that stage this moved from being a public pre-date exchange between two people to a citizen driven national initiative to meet the various challenges brought about by COVID-19 in Zimbabwe. Fadzayi and Lenon happened to be at the centre of the beautiful occurrence.

In my opinion, this is when gears shifted

Other well known people in the country put their support behind the “movement”. The British High Commissioner to Zimbabwe weighed in with the below tweet, and so did the leader of the opposition, Nelson Chamisa.

And the stakes were increased when Fadzayi responded with yet another change in goalposts.

The brands that did extremely well are those that elevated their responses beyond the Dr and the Advocate and responded to community needs especially given the wide range of challenges the country is facing. A few examples below.

Free CT Brain Scans for 3 medical outreach programs
Free eye screening for an old people’s home
Free rooftop solar to an old people’s home or orphanage
Another free solar installation

The one above got several enquiries after he posted his pledge. See below.

Enquiries for business

The pledges for #Zimagainstcovid19 are still coming in. The USD5000,00 was exceeded on Friday night. Donations to both the trust, the date and other worthy causes are still coming in. You can still make your donation.

Sponsor COVID-19 Testing in Zimbabwe

So let’s get to the marketing lessons. Did big brands in Zimbabwe miss an opportunity yesterday? Let’s start with a definition.

Moment marketing is the ability to take advantage of an event to deliver relevant and related, seemingly spontaneous, and often fleeting interactions with customers in real time.

Moment marketing isn’t and should not substitute the always- on digital campaigns. It should be employed to strategically complement core campaigns and drive more brand reach and engagement.

Most big brands are most likely to have their social media calendars for the month already set and signed off in advance. That is all good. It is however important to have a procedure in place that allows the Social Media Manager to quickly come up with content that is relevant to events as they happen and get the approvals before the momentum fizzles out.

There were big Zimbabwean brands I expected to see responding to the MahereGwaunza date and I think they might have missed an opportunity. What do you think? Do you think there are brands that missed an opportunity yesterday? Which ones? What should they have said? Share your views in the comments section.

Shoot your shot Sis, don’t wait for perfect conditions…building confidence and courage in women.

The Urban Dictionary defines ‘shooting your shot’ as taking a brave step towards something and not waiting for an opportunity to come to you. You have probably heard this statement in reference to a guy having the guts to slide into a girl’s DM on Twitter or Instagram and using some cheesy pick up line. Today that’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about shooting your shot in your career and in your business so please stay with me.

Photo byΒ Renato AbatiΒ fromΒ Pexels

Hewlett Packard wanted to find out why there were fewer women in their top management positions. They carried out a study. The findings have been quoted in several books and publications including Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In. The finding was that “women working at HP applied for a promotion only when they believed they met 100 percent of the qualifications listed for the job. On the other hand, men were applying even when they met 60% of the job requirements”.

Years back when I was still a Brand Manager, there was an opening for a Senior Brand Manager in my business unit. At that time I was managing a cluster of four countries and the role that was being advertised was a regional role which involved managing 22 countries and having the cluster brand teams reporting into that role. I didn’t doubt my qualifications to do the job. I knew I would totally ace it as I met most of the requirements. I was hesitant to apply because the role required a relocation to a different country. I was in the middle of doing my MBA and wanted to start a family with my beloved husband who had just pivoted from teaching into the corporate world. According to me, it just wasn’t the right time to apply for this role based on the plans we had as a family. So I decided I would not apply.

When I mentioned this to my husband, his advice surprised me. He encouraged me to apply for the role and also let my employer know at this stage I was not able to relocate. I was really scared of doing this. I felt my inability to relocate automatically disqualified me. In my mind I was better off not even trying rather than try and be disappointed. How could my husband just think I could go around asking for a promotion and going on to ask for concessions to be made to suit my circumstances?

Whether its perception that we are not qualified enough which points to lack of confidence or its lacking courage to push ourselves forward and asking our employers to consider our unique circumstances, we have to acknowledge that some of the work that needs to happen in order for more women to be in senior positions starts with us as well. Yes the system might be tilted against women but there are still steps we can take at an individual level.

Inspite of my fear I put forward my name for the role. I was scared but I applied. I shot my shot and was transparent during the interview process to mention that because of family reasons I wasn’t able to relocate but I was very much interested in the role. I am sure you can guess what happened……drum roll…….. I got the job and I aced it too. When our circumstances changed we eventually relocated this time with our three children and my MBA.

“You alway miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t shoot

Here is some advice

1. Take aim and shoot your shot.

2. Do it even when you are scared.

3. Have a trusted person to share your plans with. It can be your spouse, a friend, a mentor or a work colleague, as long as they have your best interests at heart and will hold you accountable.

4. Affirm yourself positively. I am always telling myself “you got this girl, you can do it girl….” Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. We tell ourselves things we would never say to our friends. Quit doing that. The same way you encourage your friends and cheer them on is the same way you should encourage yourself and be your own cheerleader.

5. Even if you miss the net, get the learnings and try again and again and again. Last month my young sister sent me a video of my nephew learning to walk. He was falling more than he was walking but he kept at it. Last week I got another video and our little boy is now walking. I bet in a few weeks he will be running. I don’t think my nephew ever thought walking isn’t for him just because he fell several times. He kept on trying. Learn from little children and keep trying until you get it. Success is for you too.

No more dribbling the ball. Just shoot your shot already. Let me know in the comments what you are doing next now that you know even at 60 percent you should still take aim and shoot.

Please connect with me on my social pages on Facebook and Instagram. It’s a vibrant community of working moms and entrepreneur moms who are thriving together, sharing ideas, growing together and succeeding together. Feel free to slide into my DM and ask for career advice or how to drive the growth of your business πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

https://www.instagram.com/mum_in_stilettos

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Lessons for women owned businesses from Octavia Spencer’s Self Made Series: The Life of Madame C.J Walker.

Octavia Spencer plays Madame C.J Walker

Self Made is a Netflix four part movie series that was released towards the end of March this year. The lead role is played by Octavia Spencer, Blair Underwood plays her husband C.J and Tiffany Hardish plays Madame C.J ‘s daughter. I found the series so captivating when I watched it during the first weekend of lockdown that I finished all the episodes in one go…(don’t judge me yet). I was ready to do an immediate review as soon as I finished watching it but I decided to wait and have more people watch it so this post would be more contextual.

There are lessons to be learnt from Madame ‘s life that are relevant especially for women running their own businesses. Here are some of the lessons I gleaned. Feel free to add yours in the comments section of this post.

1. Start with your own story – Madame had been trying to sell the hair grower made by her friend Addie unsuccessfully. The day she shared her hair journey story and how the product she was selling had solved her hair loss problem is the day her sales picked off. The only thing customers are looking for are solutions to the problems they have. They will pay what they consider a fair price. Your focus should be on how your product or service solves the customer’s problem. If this is actually your own testimonial then you have hit the sweet spot.

2. Hard work pays – you will agree that Madame C.J worked hard,really hard. She put in the hours and the results were visible. She started off washing clothes, became a hairdresser and eventually she became the first black American female millionaire. Working hard is about not giving up, not taking no for an answer and refusing to be stereotyped because you are a woman.

3. Don’t give up– this lesson literally runs like a thread throughout the series. Madame tried her formula several times until she came up with a product that she was happy with. Even when she didn’t get the funding she needed from the people she first approached she didn’t give up. She just kept at it. She reminded me of the widow in the Bible from the book of Luke 18 vs 3-7 who kept on coming before the judge to get justice against someone who had wronged her. The widow was so persistent that she wearied the judge. By the way the Bible says this was an unrighteous judge. It doesn’t matter who you are dealing with. Keep at it sis. (I always try and find an opportunity to preach)

4. Build a network– you need a network of people around you to support your dreams. Dr Sam Chand calls these people ladder holders. They literally hold the ladder for you as you climb. Even though their relationship eventually ended, C.J, Madame’s husband was initially very supportive. Freeman was also very supportive of Madame. He believed in her dream so much he borrowed money from his cousin Sweetness to become the first investor in Madame’s business.

What would have happened if Madame and Addie had collaborated instead of competing?

4. Watch out for the weakest link in your team – Madame’s son in law almost cost her the whole business. It was his carelessness that caused a fire that set the business back. He then went on to share company information with Addie who was Madame’s biggest competitor. Identify who the weakest link is in your team and manage them from the onset.

5. Collaborate instead of competing – for a greater part of the series, Madame and her former friend Addie were fierce competitors. Even though they started out as friends, somewhere along the way things got ugly. Addie even tried to “steal” some of the women who were working for Madame. I can only imagine what would have happened if Madame and Addie had actually collaborated instead of competing. Ladies, I believe the sky is big enough for all the birds t fly so collaborations are actually beneficial especially for small businesses.

6. Take those closest to you along with you – my own view is that even though C.J was initially very supportive of Madame, I got the sense that the vision for the business was not really shared. C.J was happy with the level of success they had achieved and yet Madame still wanted more. As a woman business owner, it’s important that your significant other is fully onboard with the vision and plans for your business. He might not be involved in the day to day running of the business but his full support makes your success easier.

7. Empower others – Madame’s success wasn’t hers alone. She had a team of direct sales women who were part of her distribution network. Her success allowed her to make a difference to women who would not have been able to provide for their families.

Madame and her husband C.J played by Blair Underwood

8. Get time to rest – this lesson comes from what Madame failed to do. She worked so hard so didn’t give herself enough time to rest. Hard work is important but so is rest.

9. Build on firm foundations – towards the end of the series we actually learn that Madame had stolen her friend Addie’s formula. Whether this is true in real life or it was a twist for movie purposes only, the lesson is to make sure your business is built on firm foundations. I shudder to think what would have happened if Addie had decided to take legal action against Madame. All the years of hard work would have been completely lost.

10. Build a good brand– Madame’s success was a result of an excellent marketing strategy. Being a marketer myself, i was impressed. Her formula was excellent as it solved the problem the customer had. Her distribution strategy using other women as a type of direct sales force was spot on. She was clear what type of woman she wanted to appeal to and didn’t go with fads of what everyone else thought sold. Her brand name which she built very carefully and tied excellently to her as a person was a stroke of genius. Even when C.J married another wife and tried to use the same brand name, it just wasn’t going to succeed. The world already new “the real” Madame C.J Walker. Her name was actually Sarah but she insisted on being called Madame C.J Walker because she was building a brand. Don’t underestimate the power of building a great brand.

So what are some of the lessons that you learnt from Self Made? Do share them in the comments section.

Are you starting out on your own trying to build your business?

Are you looking for help crafting the marketing plan for your business?

Do you need help in establishing your business’s presence on social media?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions and you are ready to take your business to the next level send us an email at muminstilettos@gmail.com

Easter 2020, our hope renewed

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchase.

Hope, Love, Faith

Today is Good Friday. A day Christians celebrate the crucifixion and death of Jesus Christ on the cross, taking our place by dying for our sins. It is rather an oxymoron that such a solemn day would be called good. There are different theories of how the word good came about. One theory says good actually means Holy Friday. Another says it should be God Friday. Well I am not here to debate that. For me it is a good day because His crucifixion and death on the cross led to His resurrection on the third day leading to my salvation when I confess His Lordship. This is a season of hope winning over fear, of faith winning over despair, of life winning over death and amazing love.

The cross equals LOVE

I now understand how Jesus’ disciples must have felt on the Friday he was crucified. Probably confused, grief stricken, afraid and very very sad. Even though He had told them he would rise again on the third day, they did not know how that would happen. Regardless of what our world might be going through right now the story of Easter gives me hope that this too shall pass.

Our Easter tradition since we became parents is to visit my parents in Nyanga in the Eastern Highlands of Zimbabwe. This year this is not possible because we are in lockdown in South Africa. I wrote a post on what I would do when all this is over and you can read about it here.

What i will do

I am going to prioritize my self care and making sure I find time to take care of me. You can read the post Fitting Your Own Mask First that I wrote a while back here. Below is a list of what self care will look like for me this long weekend.

  1. Sleep in and rest without the pressure of ongoing Zoom meetings.
  2. Call my parents and each of my siblings.
  3. Make a meal that i know my children really love.
  4. Update my blog. I might as well schedule the posts for the next week or two.
  5. Finish the book i have been reading for the past three weeks.
Updating my blog

There are also activities that we will do as a family.

  1. Attend the online Easter services.
  2. Play soccer in the garden.
  3. Watch Thomas & Friends, Vegetales, and for the fifth time over the last three weeks, The Lorax.
  4. Play monopoly.
  5. Convert the lounge floor into the Island of Sodor and build the train tracks so Thomas & Friends can ride.
  6. Picnic in the garden if the weather permits. It’s been rather chilly lately.
  7. Do the Easter egg hunt. By the way this tradition has nothing to do with the true meaning if Easter.
Our lounge will turn into the Island of Sodor for Thomas & Friends

Given most of us have a bit more time because of the long Easter weekend and the lockdown, why not take advantage of the low priced bundle that is full of really valuable resources for everyone in such times of uncertainty? The Invest In Your Faith Mini Bundle is for a limited period as it ends on the 15th of April 2020. For only USD7.00, you get 9 products worth USD197.97. The bundle contains 4 ebooks, 3 eCourses, 2 printable packs and 2 workbooks. Below is the list of what you get in this bundle.

  • 30 Day Gratitude Planner by Alicia Hunter
  • Anchored Hope Prints: Scripture Art for the Home by Ashely Rose
  • Find your Calling :3 week study to Confidence and Clarity in Where God wants you by Nicole Kaufman.
  • God & Money: 6 weeks Journey Exploring what the Bible has to say about money by Bob Lotich and Joe Plemon
  • Great Hymns of the faith: A hymn study for all ages by Gena Mayo
  • How to Create and Cultivate a Growing Prayer Life by Sarah Frazer
  • Promise Keeper: Uncovering God’s Promises in Psalms 23 by LaToya Edwards
  • Re:create Creative Projects Devotional by Abi Partridge
  • Scripture Memory Cards by Jami Balmet.

All the above for only USD7.00 until the 15th of April is a massive bargain. To access this bargain for yourself, click on my link HERE and invest in your faith.

May the true meaning of the season manifest in your life. May your hope be renewed. May your faith be restored. May the miracle of resurrection manifest in your life. Whatever was dead in your life may it come to life and may you experience the love of a saviour who willingly laid down his life for you.

John 10 vs 10

The thief comes only to kill, to steal and to destroy. I came that they might have life and have it more abundantly

Shalom, from Mum in Stilettos

When all this is over challenge..

Now more than ever is a time to inspire hope around our world. I was thinking of a the things that my family and I are going to do when the challenges of COVID-19 are over. Thinking about all the possibilities really got me very excited.

So here is what I am going to do when all this is over. Since I became a parent and as long as we are in Zimbabwe, we usually visit my parents every April holiday. The drive to my rural home in Nyanga where my parents live and where I grew up is scenic and amazing. I have so many memories of many trips on the Nyanga – Harare road. The canyon just after Mont Claire Hotel, London Stores where vendors sell delicious apples, Vhengere bus terminus in Rusape where my mum would buy us tsenza ( I actually don’t know the English name), Halfway House, Eagle’s Nest and I will never forget Bromley where as a nine year old my brothers and i were once stuck for over three hours after the bus had a puncture.

I took this photo in April 2015. We call this place Masumbureru ( umbrellas) and it’s just before London Stores as you are driving towards Harare

Nyangani Mountain. I took this photo in April 2019. This mountain range is about 15km from our homestead. I grew up surrounded by beauty

I literally planned my whole trip to Nyanga in my head and how I will take my kids to see my former primary school Tamunesa School. Its something I am really looking forward to. It inspired hope despite me being in a different country away from my extended family in the middle of a lockdown.

Scenic route to my kumusha Nyanga

I believe as bloggers we can do our part to inspire hope during these times. So I am starting this # when this is all over I will….. blogging challenge. Tell the world what you are going to do when all this is over. There is one simple rule. Start your post by linking back to this post and let’s inspire hope. I will reshare all your blogs on my social media pages.

Mum in stilettos

Find your own version of parenting during times like these!

There’s obviously a lot of advice out there directed at mothers who are struggling to manage working from home, keeping kids busy so they don’t disturb during Zoom meetings. Kids are probably frustrated because they can’t play with their friends and do all things normal to them. Truth is we are all learning as we go.

Image from reddit.com

I personally think sifting through all this advice can be very overwhelming. I have seen schedules with activities for the children to do by the hour. I bet it works for some and I am not here to judge. I am not following any schedule right now with my children. We are all just taking it as it comes. Yesterday there was a bit of soccer in the garden. Then a tea party on the lounge floor, some Zumba to exercise and of course the train tracks which are now a permanent feature in our lounge. You know why not putting my children on a schedule is working for me right now? Firstly because this week they would have been on holiday anyway so I am not going to give them any extra work but allow them to actually have the break they need. Secondly this simplifies my life.

Soccer in the garden

Here is my advice, find your own version of parenting that works for you. In uncertain times where we don’t really have our “normal” anymore, decide what are the non negotiables. It might be screen time, it might be bedtime. Don’t feel pressured into following schedules that might leave your children frustrated. And don’t take my word for it either. If your kids prefer structure then by all means have them follow a schedule. In simple words “just do your own parenting version”

The train tracks are a permanent feature in the lounge right now

Hoping you are enjoying spending more quality and uninterrupted time with your loved ones as we continue in lockdown.

Mum in stilettos

My song of the moment

No doubt the last few weeks have not been easy on a lot of us. For me working from home, home schooling and trying to keep a positive mindset in a foreign land has been challenging. Even though this is the second country we have lived in with my hubby and children away from our home country Zimbabwe, being away from family during a global crisis like this is taxing.

One of the things that has helped me remain positive is music. Music has an amazing way of lifting the mood and completely changing my atmosphere. I have been listening to a number of songs but there is one song that I has been a constant encouragement. It’s called Way Maker and it was originally done by Sinach, an amazing Nigerian gospel singer. A number of other musicians have gone on to do their own version of the same song and I even heard a Brazilian version a few days back.

Way Maker

You can listen to the song here. Hope it encourages you as it is encouraging me.

Muminstilettos

Now we know who the real heroes are.

The last few weeks have made all of us appreciate the various professions that we always knew were important but didn’t really appreciate the extent of their importance. Kinda reminds me of the statement “you don’t know what you have got until it’s gone”. Below is a list of my real heroes. Feel free to add more in the comments section. By the way this isn’t in any particular order. I am just writing these as they come to mind.

Teachers have always been heroes

1. Teachers – there is a video that went viral last week. In this video, an Israeli mum of four complains about teachers sending too much work for each of her four children to work on because of the early closure schools as a way to social distance. She rants that she only has two computers in her house and how the children are fighting. She complains about one teacher wanting to have a zoom call at 8 in the morning and how the work she is expected to help with is exposing her ignorance to her children. If you didn’t get a chance to watch this video, have a look at it here.

I am sure the video was meant to be humorous but it also made me wonder if there is real understanding of the real work that teachers have in educating our children. I come from a family of teachers. Three of my sisters are teachers, my husband is a former teacher and so were his two sisters. Even I had a three months teaching stint during one of my varsity breaks. I remember accompanying my sister to her class after church on Sunday to prepare for the following week. I remember spending some Saturday mornings with her as she went through the students work. And I also remember my sisters being busy preparing lesson plans for the term during the last two weeks of the school holiday. I think she called it “scheming ” and “planning “. The fact that our governments underpay teachers doesn’t make their work less important. It simply means their priorities are misplaced. I hope the lockdowns and closure of schools actually help highlight the importance of the teaching profession and bring the much needed reforms starting with teacher remuneration especially those in public schools.

2. Maids/Nannies/House helpers – I was following a discussion on one Facebook group as people discussed how the social distancing and eventually lockdown was going to impact on the ability of their maids to come to work. Some were getting their maids to move in with them during the lockdown. For others the maids needed to also be with their families during the lockdown. All of a sudden there was a realisation of the importance of the maid’s role. Not only are people working from home, children are also at home and the helpers are also with their own families so there is a whole lot of work to do. Just because a job doesn’t require four years of training to do it doesn’t make it any less important. I hope this makes everyone realise the important role helpers play in their employers families and give them the respect they deserve.

Maids/Nannies/House helpers are heroes

3. Healthcare workers (nurses,doctors etc.) – this one almost seems like a no brainer but its worth mentioning that these guys are already at the forefront of fighting this epidemic. Leaving their families especially during this crisis is a risk as they might be infected. Even though some governments are not treating health care professionals properly (I shall not mention any names), citizens are fully aware that if we are going to fight and win against this pandemic, we will need to have healthcare professionals who are fully equipped with to do their jobs. With that said, I am inviting you to contribute to the GoFundMe initiative that is is raising funds to fight the pandemic in Zimbabwe. Please follow the link here and give generously.

Support healthcare workers on the frontline

4. Finally for me, mothers in general are heroes right now. They are working their usual jobs from homes, those who are entrepreneurs are trying to keep their businesses afloat with potentially no income for the next three weeks, they are trying to keep children who are out of school busy and entertained within four walls and all this sometimes without any help. There are definitely some fathers out there who are stepping up to the challenge. They are heroes and i celebrate them too.

Who are your real heroes since this crisis began? Let me know in the comments section. Stay safe, stay at home and remember to wash your hands

Mum in stilettos