Today is the eve of my first daughter’s fifth birthday. She has been talking about her 5th birthday since Christmas and the excitement rubbed off on to me. I am really excited more than I have been on her previous birthdays. Maybe it’s got something to do with me also growing older…. but that’s not my story for today. The day she was born, a mother was born and today I celebrate 5 years of motherhood as I reminisce on the night that changed my life forever. I am not going to get graphical but I will use my birthing experience to share lessons learnt. It’s amazing how the birthing process has lessons for daily living.
Lesson 1- Pain in general is bearable
Without getting into too much detail or getting graphical,the first lesson for me was that pain is bearable. Once I learnt this from the miracle of the birthing process I also learnt that any form of pain can be borne if you go through with it and if you don’t give yourself the choice to quit which at times is not even an option to consider. It’s better to go through and come out the other side.
Lesson 2 – There is something called “fullness of time”
You see until our baby was ready to come, there wasn’t anything I could do but wait and pray. In the fullness of time she would make her appearance. In life there are things that can be accelerated and there are things that you just have to wait out. Infact even when you try to accelerate at times its in vain. I have head stories of women who were induced in order to accelerate the birthing process without any success. Acceptance of the concept of fullness of time eliminates unnecessary anxiety and allows you to enjoy your here and now.
Lesson 3 – Trust the expert, your midwife
Midwives are the trusted experts when it comes to the birthing process. I had a one assist me during my birthing process. She would tell me when to breath, when to push and when to stop pushing and even how to push. I believe for your dreams to be birthed and for history to be made, you need midwives who have the expert knowledge. You have to learn to trust your midwife. Not only are they experts, but from where they stand, they have a better view of how the process is evolving. This was just too much surrendering for a control freak like me and I was doing it my “own way” which caused me more pain.
Lesson 4 – Some journies are just for you
My husband was with me in the labour ward the whole time together with the midwives and gynaecologist. As much as he loves me this is just something that I had to do alone. He could not take some of the pain even if he would have wanted to. And even my trusted experts could only do so much….because this was my “own cross to bear”. There are moments like that in life that you will just have to go by yourself. Be prepared for that. Even after seeking counsel, you are still the one who needs to make a decision.
Lesson 5 – Don’t sweat the small stuff
Like most first time moms, I had my own ideas of how I wanted the birthing process to evolve. I had my playlist chosen and it was to be played during the process (😄😄😄I really have to laugh at myself…excuse me). Infact I was going to be cute and not be like the crazy screaming women I had seen on TV. No playlist was played…. It was too much noise for me and I did scream at my husband to shut it down. Perspective guys. Who cares about a playlist or looking cute when there is a life to be born and the pain associated with this? Don’t sweat the small things in life.
Perez Minana was born at 4:45am February 22 2012. Happy birthday princess. Love you to the moon and back..and back again …and back again…..