I became a mother for the first time a few months before my thirty- second birthday. By that time i was nearing a decade in the corporate world and was not really prepared for how my life would change. Two years later we were blessed with twins. Today we have three children all under four and i will share some of my lessons from motherhood that have “changed” me if i can use that word.
Before motherhood, my Saturdays were characterised by “sleeping in” and for me that could mean waking up after midday. Now in my thirties and already set in my ways, our daughter prefferred to wake up at midnight and sleep around 4am. When she eventually got into some form of routine, she still preferred to wake up at 5am even on a Saturday. The twins are even worse. Our son wakes up at 4am to play and make the most amazing sounds you cannot ignore him. So what did i learn from this?
Firstly its never too late to change. These days 4am is my normal waking up time. I do not struggle and i have embraced it as my new reality. Even when my son is older, i have a new routine and i like how i can get a lot done in the quiteness of the morning when the rest of the world is still sleeping. With the rapid changes taking place on the technological front, be prepared to learn and relearn and unlearn.
Secondly i have learnt the importance of an altetnative plan. Sometimes even the best laid out plans do not work. In such situations an alternative plan is always needed. Sometimes the nanny has her own emergencies and cannot come on Monday morning. Its always best to plan ahead with clarity of mind before pressure of the circumstances cloud the mind.
Being a mother has taught me the importance of asking for help and not try to do it all. The first time i had a heIper was after our daughter was born. I remember my sister in law advising me to give the baby to the nanny so they could get used to each other before i got back to work. I laugh when i think of the response i gave. I told her i was also trying to get used to the baby and i didnt want her knowing the nany more than me. Fast forwad two years later and i had twins and there was just no way of doing it all on my own. Its pretty much similar in the corporate world. When you are still starting out and the responsibilities are less, you probably could try and do it all by yourself. As you advance and get more responsibilities ( took me having twins to learn that), you definitely need to delegate to capable others.
Finally, do not sweat the small staff. Honestly. I insisted on getting back from work to a clean spotless house when it was just one baby. Now that they are three, i don’t mind to see toys all over. As long as they are happy and well-fed. Similarly there are certain things that are not a train smash at work and not making a big deal of them does help for one’s sanity. For example, does it really matter what time one decides to take their lunch hour? For me not really. As long as they are meeting all their deliverables.
I know there is still more to learn from motherhood and so this might become a series:):). Until the next post, enjoy the journey.